i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
