Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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