Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Green mimosas i think yes
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
