HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
So vagazzling was a success
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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