Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
