Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
