I am in a vortex of obligation.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Randomize