why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
