I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
