i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Sex in the backyard? Check.
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