Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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