I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
