and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
