I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
