Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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