I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize