Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
