Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
