thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Bring me that man meat
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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