she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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