think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
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