You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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