Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I woke up under a house in Key West
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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