All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
