he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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