well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
i want to swaddle you in tequila
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
