help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
These tits shall not be calmed
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
