No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
