She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
