so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
