fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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