Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
