Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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