I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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