she was so not down for the gang bang
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
