she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
