I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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