Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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