If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Please, let me fuck your mom
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize