She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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