Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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