I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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