planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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