I think scott just propositioned me for sex
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
