Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
