i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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