We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Randomize
