I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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