haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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