he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
this will be a night to untag.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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