Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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