So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
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