Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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