I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Randomize
