I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I need a burrito and a hug.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Randomize
