At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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