I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
