Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
