walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
