Barsexuality is the new black.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
