I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
