help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
