Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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