My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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