I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
